We Are a Lot of Things

Sometimes you just need a fresh perspective

Yesterday, I was doing a little reflection between phone calls and building a deck. I was thinking about all the things we are. You can define the “are” by looking at jobs, beliefs, morals, values…practically, anything. Or, legitimately, everything. I haven’t done a fresh résumé in about a decade, so here’s what my on-the-court/off-the-court résumé looks like right now:

I’d venture to guess, I’m not the only one with a laundry list of experiences, responsibilities, and mental energy spent over a couple decades of life. This brings up the reason I’ve always hated applying for things — they force you to take all of the above, filter it (i.e. discard) and then focus and cram what’s left into bullet points that fit something the feels disingenuous at best. If you’re forced into a box, it’s hard to get out of it. However, if you can see all of me, you can see someone that’s worthy of the risk or the chance. You can see rich texture that’s worth building with or learning from.

Self-doubt is a huge part of the process of growth.

Self-doubt is a huge part of the process of growth, or the march towards death (depending on how you see the world). For me, self-doubt isn’t this steady drip, but more of that torrential downpour that shows up out of nowhere and last 10 minutes before the sun reappears. It’s devastating until you realize it’s not. That 10 minutes always feels much longer too.

As a startup co-founder, I find myself hitting walls all the time. I could add to the question list above, “Why the hell is someone trusting me with all this stuff? And, how do they still have a job?” I say this in jest, but there is no end to how true it can feel when you’re going through a self-doubt spell. Though, I don’t necessarily subscribe to imposter syndrome, this essay definitely smacks of it doesn’t it? I think that last question, “What if I’m not enough?” really does center the issue. I’m thankful to be doing all that I do, but what if I fail?

It’s one of the main reasons I like coaching other people — It’s a simple reminder that failure isn’t really that big of a deal, especially when the stakes are low. And, even when they’re high… If you do things with integrity, you give it your best effort, and you face it head on, failure doesn’t have to signal such tragic feelings. I’d rather fail at almost anything than to have never tried. I’d rather accumulate experiences than to wither away playing it safe.

We are more than what we can communicate to others.

One of the things we talk about in men’s group is making sure to celebrate wins. It doesn’t matter if they’re big or small (size is also relative emotionally if you think about it). Celebrate your wins. Even more importantly, give credit where it’s due. If you’re someone that’s out here challenging yourself by putting yourself into places where the probability of success is 50/50 or worse — give yourself credit. It doesn’t even need to be that deep. If you’re trying something that is outside of your comfort zone, give yourself credit.

We are more than what we can communicate to others. Even if you consider yourself boring, I’d bet with a fresh perspective you’d find out how diverse your lived experience has been. Yes, many of us may only have 1-2 careers in this lifetime, but even then, we still have such rich experiences to operate from. None of this is to promote reading my writing and then walking around with an ego like you deserve better. I’m just saying a handful of things:

• Give yourself some credit.

• Celebrate the wins, don’t just punish yourself for the losses.

• You are more diverse than your résumé.

• Tackling new challenges doesn’t make you an imposter.

• It’s 2021, you’re at a maximum 1-2 months and an online course away from acquiring a skill set you need for success.

What a time to be alive. Talk soon.